As everyone knows, the legendary bank robber, Willie Sutton, answered the question "Why do you rob banks?" with, "Because that's where the money is." O Willie--happy is he whose temper is consonant with his times! Lucky for Willie that he didn't make it to our times. Anyway, that's what my mind wandered off to when I was watching "Heat," which matched up Robert Deniro, the bad guy, with Al Pacino, playing a workaholic detective.

Deniro was robbing a bank and told customers in the bank to stay cool, since he was stealing the bank's money, while the customer's money was insured by the Federales. Then the cops and robbers had a free-for-all in the street outside the banks with guns, bullets and sirens. There were so many layers of irony in that scene, in light of what is happening today, that my brain just locked up. All I could do was laugh.

Just think of the storied past of famous bank robbers in our culture. It all seems so silly now. What's wrong with robbing a bank, anyway? Deniro's character could use the loot to buy a million dollar home, thus saving the taxpayer from bailing out one more foreclosed property. Maybe he'll spend the loot on a snazzy car. Great. It would reduce the bailout needed for the automobile industry.

What does it matter exactly what he spends it on? Together with the insurance payment to the victimized bank accounts, the overall money supply will expand, and isn't that what the financial wizards in Washington want?

I've been working day and night to button up the details on a carefully-devised plan. It's very complex of course and the mathematics and econometrics would go way over the head of the lay reader. So just trust me.

And yes I realize that conventional people--mediocrities all--will not understand the New eCONomics. So-called practical men have always been the slaves of some long dead economist or philosopher.

This new plan will liberate the modern post-industrial, service-oriented, information-based economy from obsolete notions of morality and economic "law." Still, I draw the line at legalizing shoplifting. Economically it would be just as efficacious as the rest of the new program, but it would hurt Walmart, and with a Democrat in the White House, no Walmart bailout is in the cards. They can get a union, instead.

As the economy starts to perk up a little, the new program can be expanded to include payday loan stores, car dealers, and even RV lots. Especially RV lots.

Just think of the colorful new folk heroes that will arise--people who make Dillinger, Bonnie & Clyde, and Bernie Madoff look like pikers. Other people will write folk songs about these new heroes. Small towns will open museums--government subsidized of course--because the new hero 'slept here,' or was 'born here.'

It could even be the grist of a hot new reality TV show. The grand prize will be getting to share a jail cell with the CEO of AIG.